Little things in life

These days I have noticed that I get cranky about anything and everything..
The pimples on my face, the shabby work of my maid, to how shallow some people can be? Apparently none of which is in my control. Or for that matter I realize I do not have any license to go and transform the world..The mindless competition
that people have for the car they possess, to what position they have reached..Damn
The more I deep dive into this well of insignificant episodes, the more I shield myself from the beauty of life...

A cup of simmering ginger tea...or having the best bonus of sleep for few more minutes
The little baby that crossed by...A handsome hunk who compels me to sigh. Even blush :)) for that matter...yapping away to glory with my college friend instead of some stupid forward. The playful flirts of different taste of sweet n sour whenever i gulp the chattpatta panipuris..A surprise compliment by someone you least expected. a little music...maybe a different tune..dancing when no one is around...Too much happier..Too much strong...

What do i gain of these little things...no money, no appraisal, but does that mean all these are nothing? in my quest to satiate my ever long list of desires. I forgot the wonders of lil things that i could enjoy. Probably as I read from a blog "What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly”

In every episode we complicate, in every share we calculate, we miss out the importance of those little things, a smile, a touch or a hug, the freshness of air in early morning sunrise, an aimless ride

On the streets, a wonderful treat by someone you least expected, a box of chocolates, the joy of giving, the thrill of experiencing new things..Makes life seem too beautiful..

A perfect end to this would be a poem written by Dave Griffith

Too often we don't realize

What we have until it is gone;

Too often we wait too late to say

"I'm sorry - I was wrong."

Sometimes it seems we hurt the ones

We hold dearest to our hearts;

And we allow foolish things

To tear our lives apart.



Far too many times we let

Unimportant things into our minds;

And then it's usually too late

To see what made us blind.



So be sure that you let people know

How much they mean to you;

Take that time to Say the words

Before your time is through.



Be sure that you appreciate

Everything you've got'

And be thankful for the Little Things

In Life that mean a lot....





~ © Dave Griffith ~

Being Human

Flashing colors, bright lights, roaring beats welcome us to yet another new year. While each year passes by, I realize that keen, poignant agonies pull me down, exposing the vagaries of a very shallow adult life. When I talk of adult life, I am reminded of words which echo from within:

“I want to describe that world beyond the window,

Even though I know it cannot be described but only revealed”.

Yes, adulthood invariably exposes me to a state of utter vitriol. Goodness and conscience are some crazy words found probably in Grandma’s dictionary. A world, where every individual seems to be an island; where every soul acts in a surreptitious way.

Where even social work is something to be highlighted in your CV. Probably there is no act which you cannot in cash.

The fact is we do not recognize ordinary people. We easily subjugate simplicity and become interpreters of modern world where all practicality suggests us to be shallow and street smart.

In this decade, therefore, let us plant seeds of pure, unadulterated goodness. Our lives be a concoction of all attributes which make us human.

I would like to sum it all with

“In this conversation we discover another possibility: living in a way, now, moment to moment, that makes a difference to life. We discover that as human beings we can live in a possibility instead of in what we have inherited, that instead of just being a human being because we were born that way, we can declare the possibility of being for human beings. This is the work of transformation: bringing forth a breakthrough in the possibility of being human.”

-Werner Erhard

Migratory Birds....

Change is the only constant..as I move forward, each passing day I am enriched by the authentication of this sentence..The overtones of this surprising constant factor makes me relearn several things...One change that i am witnessing is about an acquaintance whose change has put me to ponder about several things of female liberalisation...
The idea of a muted ,weak and subjugated woman is easily replaced by the new age woman who can assert all her power and position, Marrying to comply with family code of honour is replaced with a lady who no longer feels burdened by one man woman kinda status...Aspirations are high , very very high and this free bird  would not even mind protracting erotic tease  by showcasing  her bare skin...Her mindset which was subdued due to pitiless male gaze is empowered by new forms of liberation of smoking and drinking...And I am appalled, or rather have now started to get a hang of it....
I love the way there are ladies who have modernised , without being "Badnaam" , without weighing down the significance of some beautiful attributes of being a lady in a real sense...Elegant, poised, caring, matched with contrasts of playfulness, boldness and strength...I don't know why do i need to get drunk to prove that i am a modern girl..probably my beliefs still come from some old school of thought...i have probably not migrated and probably not adapted to the open skies where these birdies are flying...
Coexisting is good, but "being in it" just because of some sort of pressure or to gain acceptance is wrong...adapting trends to comply with some confused set of norms and becoming shallow ...is something i completely abhor....
We are of the You Tube, Facebook generation, open to a hell lot of things. In the wake of migrating from "boring" to "COOL" are we forgetting basic values..or will it become defunct..and vestigial?

Sunrise Sunset

"Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the days
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
Blossoming even as we gaze"
I still remember the tune , a song which was part of  my routine of growing up..As i studied in a convent where the third language was definitely not french, German or Sanskrit ; it was perhaps choir songs and prayers..but the faint tune of this song is still etched in my heart...
Time is so ephemeral , like a puff of smoke dissipating in the wind ...But that's the sweetness of life, events good or bad pass by and you somehow tend to move on with the flow...Today being a twenty something I realise how a tiny tot transforms to a lady replete with honour, skill and grace..it is the journey of a little child whose eyes would have always sought for parents directions to a thriving youth who now willfully abandons any piece of advice that passes through the ears...
How brilliant were those episodes of innocence , the carefree laughter, the fairy tales and now its a twinge of regret that seeps in because those memories rest in the wake of reality .However, i realise that learning is an inevitable offspring of life, sometimes forced, sometimes picked up naturally.In events as trivial as a get together and as important as intimate discussions with loved ones you get acquainted with various lessons which you may have never fathomed.
Today i wonder how have i learnt the language of silence, the beauty of acceptance, the mathematics of profit, the science of understanding, the strength to revolt, the perseverance to carry on , the flexibility to adapt, the touch of poise , the art to value people and not things...
Yes I have grown up...
grown up to face the vagaries and strife...
comforted by a kind word, a smile...
grown up to quench my thirst to perform...
drink my pain , life a melodious song...
yes I have gown up to earn...
an honest compliment, and to condone..
make gains and  be an open heart.
smallest act of caring ,would never keep your soul apart...
P.S : Definitely have not learnt poetry:P

Straight from my Heart !!!!!!!!!!!!

Is it a result of a careless abandon of my little writing space or a conscious move to do
 something really about it ?i am perhaps still unaware, however my final resort is to
change.My previous blog name somewhere did not do justice to what i actually was
writing about and what purpose it had..well it is a catharsis , drowned in emotions , not
conforming to any rules , it is what i have to offer and not what others have to hear..it is
straight from my heart!!
I faceless in the crowd ,
seek to transform image...
into perfect , into proud...
And soar through with courage..
my scribes and writings
be voice to my world : muted, confined
words be surrogates of  my learnings..
of events, of people ,of life...
endlessly submerged with passion.
My writing is in its embryonic stage, still evolving , nurtured by experience . I am
still unaware of "what" are the different styles of writing , "how" to have an audience
and "when and how frequent " should i write...Reason : i am lousy and partly because
i am busy . In between i did the mistake of giving answers to such questions which is
quite evident from my latest blog posts and therefore i realised a simple point:
it is not the numbers nor about some tips to increase traffic on my page,
it is about adhering to what I can share at my  best and that  perhaps is writing, writing
from my heart.

IT-work-a-hell-ic

After spending ten long months in the IT industry, there is a tacit agreement that work is definitely not worship.An industry which has the glut of opportunities but a dearth of satisfaction.An industry where risks rock the fragile boat of career always .An industry when you are really good, its okay but when you are bad , its horrid...
There is a genuine boom , with  definite grandiose touches. So here is a peek a boo into the ever demanding, ever growing IT industry...
CERTI-MAN: Knowledge never exists until it is tested and certified . If you thought gone are the days when you used to burn the midnight oil in giving exams, wake up. Certifications are your life jacket which would sail you through the adamantine walls of success... Well here is a reality check:
BLAH-Blah Manager:  Yes he is the enchanter , who would give you plenty of gyan , would bribe you with rosy dreams and dump you if you dare not follow his orders.

Horrifying HR: You will be tied up with policies like mosquitoes in a cob web. These policies would cling leech like sucking the slightest vestige of pure comfort.
 
Cubicle Your Den, Your Home :
Honey , your space is shrunken. Your den clustered with many
more and of course the company of your new found sweetheart - THE PC.

Holiday Blues: Vacations are a blessing in disguise, for your project will always be critical and you are the only Resource required.

Imbued with the angst of being a fresher( bottom of pyramid) and informed by the vast pool of frustrated engineers I have woven a dismal picture. After reading this sarcastic script , I offer you something more my nimble mind could produce :
The ultimate SWOT Analysis:
Strengths: Handsome salary for a beginner,provides a number of low-cost business options to tap higher productivity , repeat business, businesses are able to remain buoyant even amidst the economic recession, higher connectivity and exposure to global work.
Weakness: The pool is extremely large and demanding. You may be stuck up doing the same work for years. Long hours, shift timings, working according to clients calendar.
Opportunities: Onsite is the most lucrative opportunity you could grab.
Threats: The moment you think you will be promoted a lateral hire may swap your position. If you do not perform you could easily be replaced.

The Mirror….

A voice within is silent,
losing its loquaciousness midst the noisy crowd...
unnerved by revelations...
but shadowed by misinterpretations cloud...
the self camouflages its identity..
through multifarious forms and roles...
pure, unadulterated would perhaps be serendipity...
unearthed in deep holes...
i seldom soliloquise that in a life burgeoning with opportunities ,
why everyone gets into different moulds...
like wet clay having no potential
and succumbing to the potters interpretations....
Would it require another renaissance to jolt the predictable minds...
why aspirations are mere means to get money or another position...
My genre of peers are oft found following trends, where creativity and thinking seem defunct...
there may be degrees , there may be profiles and accolades to boast ,
 but all seem the same with perhaps different names...
its an ocean deep and voracious,
with mimics of different trends.
passions rest like pearls in oysters...
originality  pricelessly  contained...
There comes a Bhagat who inspires anyone to write the  same college tales...
A size zero Bebo motivates zillions to grow thin and pale...
IIT's , IIM's  become destinations to be king of the flock...
and the black sheep suffer with a thinking block..
When I look into the mirror,
with my  fringes and flocks ....
Is it me who is standing...
or someone similar to the many in stock...

Not just Routine

The present rocks the fragile self with multifarious tasks to perform; suffocating , overshadowing its identity.

Like the wind that always flow I move on sometimes complaining,Sometimes unaware to the future through the turbulent waters of time.

Just laze around and doing mundane things in the garb of relaxation, I often feel why my life is so predictable.

For most of my actions are covered in the sheet of duties , responsibilities, job and my creative soul lurks behind the dominance of so called routine.

For every stroke of paintbrush I sacrificed ,

I painted an achieving life…

For every flow of words my pen sacrificed ,

I wrote my story of progress…..

From school, to college, to now work I drifted through space and time laden both with happiness and tears.However , in the wake of prioritising,I abandoned my brainchild , my creativity.

I think therefore, from now on my interests should not be some black words written in my resume , they should be like babies , which grow only by nourishing.I shall now follow those inherent and sweet pursuits which are not just routine….

“Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."

— Henri Frederic Amiel

Rain Maker

Amidst  the deluge of technological gadgets what more a mechanical soul could ask for.From e-tickets to e-banking, from iPods to play stations, from 3G to nano , technology  has by far catered to disparate wants of the techno-savvy breed...
However after taxing my lil brain for a while , my imaginations became so fecund that ideas hopped like lil rabbits....
So , here i am presenting the technology that I demand: Rain Maker...
Now as Albert Einstein Said :
" If  at first the idea is not absurd, there is no hope for it"..So throw stones at me..but my aspirations have mated with determination to bring forth this technology....
 

First part is RE- search ?? Why on earth do we need this Rain Maker...
Hmmm putting on my thinking cap What is one thing which is a matter of concern across all classes and masses in India...

It is Monsoon. So do you know How important is Monsoon to us?

• Agriculture contributes around 17% to GDP
• India is the 2nd largest producer of rice and wheat in the world
• 3/5th of arable land dry and parched due to low penetration of irrigation system leaves
• Monsoon acts as a controller of prices of primary articles such as food grains, etc.
• It impacts industrial production with nearly 40% of the raw-material coming from the farm sector .
  
• Technically, The rain-fed agriculture constitutes about 60% of India’s total net sown area, wherein food grains such as rice, bajra, maize, jowar, and pulses such as tur and gram are grown.
• India gets nearly 53% of its food from the Kharif season (June-October) as compared to the Rabi season (November- February), where the production is around 47%.
• In a gist, Monsoon still is the economic lifeline of our country – A bad monsoon can spell trouble and hinder India’s economic growth, while a good monsoon has power to catapult it to fastest growing economy on Earth…
  So after realising the seriousness of the matter I feel we need a technology that could give back to our society

Development:
Rain Making is not something that is new. It has fool proof logic into it. It works on the principle of cloud Seeding.
Principle
Could seeding, a form of weather modification, is the attempt to change the amount or type of precipitation that falls from clouds, by dispersing substances into the air that serve as cloud condensation or ice nuclei. The usual intent is to increase precipitation, but hail suppression in also widely practiced. Silver iodide and dry ice are the most commonly used substance in the cloud seeding
An aircraft putting dry ice on clouds which makes artificial rain.

Latest take on this technology:(excerpt from Zee News Web Cite)
"Scientists at the IITM have started the experiment to create artificial rain. It is a three-year project launched in May and, based on the feedback, the government will take a call on its implementation," Shailesh Nayak, secretary at the Earth Sciences Ministry, told IANS.

The IITM, a premier research institute under the government, launched the Cloud Aerosol Interaction and Precipitation Enhancement Experiment (Caipeex) on May 17, 2009, to study cloud seeding.

"It is a national programme which will help in providing a scientific basis for the operational way of cloud-seeding. For the last 20 years we have been experimentally undertaking cloud-seeding activity successfully and an 11-year cloud seeding project between 1973 and 1984 showed increase in rainfall by 20 percent," JR Kulkarni, programme manager at Caipeex, said.

The experiment will be carried out in three phases. During the first phase (May-October), the scientists have been observing different monsoon clouds over the country using an aircraft with special equipment.

"The aircraft is equipped with a special instrument to measure cloud parameters - temperature, wind, liquid water droplets - and aerosol background
During the second phase (June-September 2010), random cloud seeding experiments will be carried out, using the aircraft equipped for seeding and the one containing the special equipment
Many other organisations, including the Indian Institute of Technology-Kanpur, the National Aerospace Laboratory, Bangalore, the Indian Air Force and the Indian Navy, are participating in the project.

China presently has the largest cloud seeding system in the world. It used cloud seeding in Beijing just before the 2008 Olympic Games in order to clear the air of pollution. In February 2009, China also used iodide sticks to artificially induce snowfall over Beijing after four months of drought.
A total of 24 countries currently practice weather modification operationally.
Dangers:
Unintended side effects, especially given the chaotic nature of weather development.
Damage to existing ecosystems.
Equipment malfunction or accidents
ELF hot spots causing slightly accelerated ionospheric depletion by solar wind
Non-democratic control or use as a weapon(source Wikipedia)
My Demand:
We city goers have oft been living with the luxury of gadgets and gizmos. I demand all companies to bring forth a technology which surpasses all tenets of business it has done so far. I am  therefore , a voice of that faction of society whose wants die unheard.
The Rain maker , is not really an idea or technology at the end of a day.It is but an inception into the minds of the great innovators of this country has produced so far to create a technology which can relieve us from the problems that our country is facing due to dependency on rain.
In the quest of creating more entertainment gadgets, are we not oblivious of the needs of 70% of India's population...
And finally i end with a prayer which i read somewhere...
Dear God...
Thank you for the poor you have placed in my midst. Their presence is a blessing to my soul. I am honoured to be able to help them in small ways; I desire to do more....

(This is post for MY Demand Contest on www.indiblogger.in )

People Alive!!

Cinema has coalesced with itself many a magical powers. The plausible example being the multiplex crowd being drawn to watch the predicament of farmers in Peepli l live.
So what’s the magic in the entire process-> a good script, Amir Khan’s banner , realistic cast, rustic music, meaningful lyrics and thought provoking theme. Well , this is what life should be like when people from abject poverty like Natha come centre stage, when villages revive the incandescent glow which cities have, When the HAVE Not's share the same space as the Haves.
But Alas, the brief reign of the cult which Natha embodied would be over. The old fool would come to his own again. It was only in air conditioned havens  that they were equal.For some time  Peepli will be in news, Natha may further be glorified with awards and accolades but the farmers and their plight, the misery and squalor , would remain same..
Days, months and years have elapsed where still “Roti, Kapda Makaan” are the core issues which grips one of the fastest growing economies in the world.From yesteryears ManojKumar’s  depiction of farmers plight to Today’s Amir , what really has changed is the great divide between the city dwellers and farmers.
The so called “thought provoking” stuff that we witness seldom retains its charm for “we”( of which even I am an inseparable part) go back to our cocoons and have our sheltered existence.
We have been looking for benefits not essentials.We breathlessly haste in transporting gold to our graves that we forget that:
“ If the rich don't share their riches with the poor
the poor shall share their poverty with their riches”.
We are part of that community who censures politicians, media, practically everyone. We have become so complacent that we cease to realise that even we can contribute.
For every grain we waste,
   Remember there are millions dying of hunger….
For every new expenditure made
    Remember there are millions who cannot afford a roof above.
So films will come and go , but the real blockbuster would be when people become alive, become sensitive and contribute to our society as a whole.

THE DEEP SLUMBER

I was asleep in the abode of flesh, bones and blood. How strange that body

Was living, but the soul, the inner self, was somewhat in slumber.

In the garb of various responsibilities, I played different roles, meandering

through different characters. The plot of life, had many under plots, each

being a story in itself. I was breathing the air which the characters were breathing:

a dutiful daughter, a respectable wife, a protective sister, an honest employee, a

loving mother. For some roles the script was written, for some I had to bake a

new one.

I mastered the accents of different characters. I got drunk with the thoughtless ambitions to achieve different goals. I rehearsed all subjects of mental faculties, and after being eloquent with the term was given different degrees. In some scenes I did impress, some episodes went unnoticed. All thoughts, all passions, all delights , all jealously, all rivalry,

all trials, all tribulations whatever stirs the mortal being…I lived it.

But now, after aching every atom of my body, paralyzed by the real script writer up there

…I sit alone. I did most of what could be done. The sunset is very near now.

 The drama is over. there were tense scenes and  intervals of relaxation and now my story

will have the inevitable THE END.

I look back and ponder was this the best performance that could be delivered. Well, I,

did my part , the rest the script writer and the producer, created so many unfavorable

Situations. If only I were not sick, not cheated, but it was what was written in the script.

But I have no regrets I did everything that could be done.

Suddenly awakened by a voice, that was perhaps never heard.

“Yes dear, you succumbed to all hurdles which life could give

you. But you forgot the epicenter of life. Your soul. You very well

Morphed from a Human Being to Human Doing. For a doer can just do

but if you are a being , you will realize , life itself is teemed with uncertainties,

its your ability how you respond.”

I was suddenly silenced .I realized I have pointed fingers. But today I finally I am

Awakened by truth..

“I am the center of my life

  And like every architect

 I built my building called life

And it will stand on the stands of time.”  

HELLO Ctrl+T , BYE Ctrl+C, Ctrl +v

My view or rather heading is nebulous enough for u to gauge what actually is in my head. A couple of perfunctory attempters might have thought that this writer, Bloger to be more precise has suddenly given away or set free from the mouse trap.
Well before you stop reading I must abandon my abortive attempts of creating an impressive background and nail down the fact that Hello Ctrl +T signifies the new tab for the New Year.

URL: http://www.TheNewYouintheyear.com/
Login: make_new _changes
Password:iwillchange.

Weathering : The Chaturs of all times should stop taxing their nerves and consider this as some process of disintegration of rocks due to changing environment .By this I mean to be a lil more responsive towards our environment. The poly bags, the extra tube light flickering, the chloro-Fluro –Carbons’ multifarious avatars should if not shunned but at least be curtailed. This isn’t a utopian thought and can definitely be picked up.

Make over, under, wherever: Let not you ideas die virgin, let them be touched and be produced, brought to life. Imagine, innovate and make them possible.

Bolo RAM : Nah, I am not lamenting over the genre of Hindutva Ideologies. Here ram is that memory space which is expanding from KB’S TO GB’S.So refresh, restore and bolo RAM, Bolo RAM.

Taste FLOWERS: Now that you are aware that these tags are my idiosyncrasies ,by tasting flowers I mean , our taste buds have the power to blossom .Do not leave them un blossomed by eating the stereotypical menu. Try out the wackiest one, maybe you find a New “MY FAVOURITE DISH” or a renewed liking for your old one.

Net & working: There was a time when paparazzi were only for the biggies but now even the Mango Man has them in plenty. Thanks to the “SOCIAL” element in internet where the walls of private and public disintegrate in thin air.
So let your scribes and describes be a bit more cautious. For every freedom comes with a responsibility.

Channel Change : sometimes the most insignificant channels give you some content to watch like I found Peace Urdu TV. Not that I am going it follow it full throttle but when you are just flipping over, see through.

Butter shutter: Let the fats and flabs lose their dominance in your life. It is said that in the journey of raw materials to final product, every process does value addition to the commodity. But the food ,contradictorily, loses its essence if processed. So let your Jaw have a bit more Raw.

Faith lift: I don’t know about the wrinkles of your epidermis but the wrinkles of worries and depression can definitely be straightened by a little faith lift .Faith has that buoyant force that can keep you afloat in the turbulent waters of uncertainties.

So the followers of the "same" and “nothing new” pull up your socks to experiment. Let not your spinal chords be drooped with burden, let then have some back pack to explore a new destination .Let not your limbs break with osteoporosis ,footloose to a new beat, Just not earn , but learn and
LOUW YOUR EXISTENCE.

Once upon a time

Once upon a time sunrise meant the start of the day and sunset meant the end But today the day is divided into shifts and a 7-8 hour sleep is a luxury.

Once upon a time politicians were leaders, examples rather than percepts,aching every
muscle to work for the welfare and for the politician of today the picture is dark and deep,and promises to glibly lie through their teeth and miles you go, the government sleeps and miles you go ,the government sleeps.

Once upon a time knowledge was a part of the privileged few and ignorance was bliss.
But today information is overloaded and u copy,u write

Once upon a time the music was about instruments and their strings.Today its about mixing and digital sync

Once upon a time beauty was skin deep and blossomed in youth and lost its sheen with age ,However inherently stayed ,for every stage had its beauty.But today Beauty is about another B..Botox, chopping, enhancement,the lifts and the lasers try to camouflage the original.

Once upon a time when eyes did all the talking ,passion lurked behind the walls of values.Today expression is bold and loud;living in ,sleep out...where in a moment
"I LOVE YOU" to another "we are GOOD FRIENDS"...and your relationship status changes from single, committed or complicated.

Once upon a time where marriage was an institution but today the ties don't bind you that well..where marriage has something extra.. you swap,you divorce to be freed from the burden of vows and become a fiddler with fidel
HAI APNA DIL TO AAWARA NA JAANE KIS KIS PE AAYEGA

Once upon a time work used to be about integrity and worship .Today its about incessant growth and nomadic life.Nomads were there even in yesteryear s But the deluge of opportunities make your life a wanderer ,in search for MORE ,MORE AND MORE.

Once upon a time when yogis used to lead an ascetic life, in austerity ,simplicity and denial of life's pleasures .Today the yogis are of different kind, to get down to size zero, to augment their pleasures of the bed .

Once upon a time NEWS was to inform, to state ,to educate.Today news is always "BREAKING" so that there are enough fissures for viewers to peep in.

Once upon a time there was fresh air to breathe and clean water to drink.But a gill less specie gained power and changed the dynamics of life.When protocols are made and dismantled but an entire specie ,the intelligent one,drains its own resources.

But then such is life, at a point where it is implacable,it gives you a hope that the present state has also come from the same root which it once was.
In the vein of confession, we might have become complacent with such a life where money could have given all pleasures but loses its essence.Lets go back to our roots and learn little lessons which have been forgotten and trashed.

THE WAIT

In the cacophony of the bustling city life , where the compulsive achievers never rest for the fulfillment of their insatiable desires; where the two arms of the clock seem to give each other a competition,there is a world which is stagnant , still like a pond....
* A Lover waiting for his proposal to be accepted.
"who knows how long I've loved you, you know I will
love you still.Will I wait for a lovely lifetime
if you want me to,I will"
* The speculative stock broker waiting to learn the language of the Bulls n Bears,
to change the curve of his gains.
"Waiting is a trap.There will be reasons to wait.The truth is that there
are only two things in life reasons and results and reasons simply don't
count"
*The expecting mother waiting for the fetus to come out of her warm abode.
*The deceived victim waiting frantically for justice to be resorted.
"Therefore is judgement far from us ,neither doth justice overtake us,
We wait for light,But behold obscurity,for brightness but wait in darkness"
*The passenger waiting for the tardy train to carry him to his destination
* A neglected child waiting to be cuddled with love and warmed with care
"I am nobody's child, Nobody's child
Just like a flower Nobody's child
No mummy kisses . no Daddy smiles
Just like a flower Nobody's child
*The brave wife waiting for her husband to come back from the borders
*The hopeful aspirant waiting for the Rank,to taste the fruit of his labour
"I couldn't wait for success
So i went ahead without it"
*The helpless farmer waiting for the brightness of the mighty sun to be defeated by dark black clouds.
*The demure damsel waiting for some Prince charming to be tied till eternity
"Women are like apples on tree...the best ones are on the top.the
men dont want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid
of failing and dont want to get hurt instead.They just get the rotten
apples from the ground which are not good but easy.So the apples at the top
think something is wrong with them,when in reality they are amazing.
They just have to wait for the right man to come along,all the way to the
top because they value quality"
*The incorrigible patient waiting for some mercy to be bestowed upon him to relieve him from the clutches of never healing disease.

Wait is just not a pause...but a hope to change form,to be accomplished,to be cured,tobe recognized,to be loved to be settled.Nevertheless it is said-
" Life ia all about timing,the unreachable becomes reachable,the unattainable
...attainable..Have the patience ,wait it out,its all about timing"
So to end it the best Quote will be-
"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon,but we wait so long
to begin"

SETTING FREE...

Life has many attachments,responsibilities towards our relations , our society .My life in particular was burdened by a very different stigma..to be a girl child of a widowed mother.19th August,1995 the day when my father went away without even saying goodbye...took with him my childhood, my innocence.

I was lucky to be bestowed by a mother of strong will and someone who had the zest for life.Being the elder daughter i realized that I had to be strong and I learnt the art not to reveal my thoughts, my pain, my grief as a whole.

Destiny took the bread earner of our family.However things weren't that bad .We shifted to our paternal home and my mother started playing the multifaceted role of being the daughter in law, the mother and the father of her two little daughters.
The latter part was quite an ordeal because when bringing up two daughters as a single mother you always have to guard them.

If you were to notice the periphery of my life as a whole, you would say i had everything: a lavish bungalow, servants,drivers, best of education, clothing;if not in excess then definitely not deprived.
But deep inside,the core of my life,the story is not so rosy as it seems.How the loss of one male member changes life completely.When a woman becomes independent and starts taking life in the best of spirits ,the guards of society try their level best to tarnish her impeccable image .When you are deprived ,all the help that comes, does not mean it has come without intentions ..The fragility of a woman is so immense that only she knows how to project her tensile strength.

I have seen my mother bearing the brunt of societal pressures , meandering through different roles all alone, but in return all that she would hear is complaints.
I have heard those words and I still refrained from speaking. Many times people related have spoken and have spoken anything they wanted and I kept a blank face.It is said that silence is golden but my silence did not feel noble. I was ashamed of my cowardice.As the norms of society are that good girls don't retaliate ,I confined myself in keeping mum and showing self control.

I have done my brooding and the guilt of not doing enough rises in me like bile so that i might lose the appetite of life.The inhibitions of being a daughter compel me to think that my purpose may not be achieved.Today, I recreated from my pen and relived my sorrows not for some self pity or to taint anyone black. I know that I have become sensitive not through my sensibility but because of my experience.
No other person can understand someones grief unless one has experienced it.I have done this to set myself free of a great emotional baggage..to come out of the claws of my haunting past.

I am a stronger person now,whose decisions would not stand testimony to conservative thinking .I am out of the greyness of that reality where girls have to sacrifice their ambitions , their ideologies to show that they adhere to the principles of society . I am setting free , so that i do not deprive myself of enjoying my existence;Graduating from the school of values and striking the balance to control the rudder of my lifeboat.

OLD VILLAIN NEW ENTRY

Whenever you are put to test, the indomitable villain arrives at center stage. This testing negative character enters your life in different phases, in different forms. This time its entry was in the form of CAT 2009 ...hovering over the lives of more than two and a half lakh aspirants.

The CAT was in an utter state of face lift. ..She was no longer wild ..She was tamable that too with a mouse click. But this new avatar with technological attachments inflicted several injuries to the prepared souls by rescheduling,server
glitches and stale questions.The percentiles again are subject to much speculation..Students were startled and were completely unaware of the number of runs they had to score to win the match.

Everything suddenly seems so mean, so uncertain. I remember six months back when i had zeroed down to the decision to prepare for CAT. After completing my engineering degree and wearing the life jacket of an offer letter of one of the most prestigious software firms in the country;I again prepared myself for the adventure in the turbulent waters of competition.

A positive avalanche had poured in and I started improving exponentially ...English was my forte and quantitative ability engineers have it for granted. Then began my mock tests,it robbed me of my confidence. The city that adopted me for my preparation was treating me as a step mother. One moment I had more to cope with and the other I had nothing. I was a dejected soul, who surrendered much before the actual test.

Few days back when I took the exam ,The door was opened again.The villain was staring me, eye to eye.I had the control over the trigger to shoot him, but even though I felt disarmed.When the villain left, it took nothing from me..on the contrary taught me a lesson of life.
I would like to express it in the words of Abba-
" They say a restless body can hide a peaceful soul,
A voyager and a settler both have a distant goal..
If I explore the heavens or if I search inside
Well it doesn't really matter as long as I can tell myself
that I have always tried".

The lesson is try and to try till the end.CAT is not about verbals or certain formulae..its about temperament. Its about attitude. I did not really try because I left in between...some did not try to perform because of certain preconceived notions.

Today I stand enriched and rekindled by my very noble teacher named experience.I understand that uncertainties will be there, hurdles would be there: economical, social , physical, emotional ;each having the strength to tear me apart..But every episode shall make me better.I should have the energy to persevere, the eagerness to receive,the strength to accept my downfalls,the passion to live my dream every moment.After all the heavy words of the wise one thing that remains is that one should enjoy every bit of the process. Its not about getting serious in life, but doing things seriously!!

To be a BE

Amid the paeans to the Indian Growth story here I stand with my Bachelor of Engineering Degree , questioning its very purpose. It is sheer ambivalence of feelings that I am going through whether to adulate the fact that I am a BE or is it more by accident than by intention that these four year journey has ended.

Well engineering is a mini odyssey laden with experiments , practicals , sessionals , projects and “farzipanti”.
Yes FARZIPANTI comes out as a side branch of engineering ,not baking with codified language but encrypted with that cipher text which only an engineer can decipher. On top of this blissful activity is placed a slice of physics and nothing less than the poetry of electrons changing the dynamics of life. (done electronics & telecommunication).

The first year of college is the subdued phase where everyone gives you a discourse on the wonders of engineering.
You still are very nascent and much like a school student dreaming practical solutions to invent, design and build things. You are true to the kindred spirits of engineering and use your time constructively in having a brief overview of basic engineering subjects. You listen to everyone from your professors to lab attendants to your seniors, library in charges.
You are devoid of the slightest vestige of engineering mischief and you live a life respectable student.

But then comes the the second year, a translator of all prejudices you ever had. You are finally in your department and your seniors paradoxically enough , expose you to what engineering in itself entails : the promise of knowledge and a roller coaster of fun.You want to dive into the empty space of not mastered existence but then you are brought down and laid bare; for you are a fresher and cannot make such a remarkable transition. Your quest for marks somewhat loses momentum and you keep your eyes wide open to learn the blissful coexistence of farzipanti and performance.
You begin to have a taste of the art but not a connoisseur yet, you engage yourself in various activities.

Then comes the Third year which widens your doors of perception and you finally become the coveted senior .It begins with proxy attendance and narrows down to last date submissions . you feel like a hero when you break the monotony of learning and just start faking it up…books , notes are last days rescue…and then you know how to give maximum performance in minimum time.
But in between comes the havoc of Campus Placements. You are again brought back to ground .A sudden deluge of seriousness sweeps you and then you stand at the center of your being ,on the crossroads of doing something worthwhile. You try to master all the theories learnt, start reading newspapers , you meander into this very part of making a career .
The placements give you that little high which you never had ,as if you’ve got a life jacket to guard you against the turbulent future.

Then comes the time to bid adieu to your seniors, and you march on with the torch lit by them to the Final Year, the ultimate year of Farzipanti.

The fourth year is like the year of the master of the trade. You experience something like-
“Float down the river
Over the pebble or stone
Don’t worry about swimming
Just rock and roll.”

Literally its not that you are a complete rebel , You have papers to clear, projects to submit, keep your CPI at a decent level but with the juxtaposition of having fun and seriousness. Its not that I am full of complacency about a degree completed but being a BE is not just to learn some Hi-tech vocab of physics or complex engineering mathematics. It prepare you to a plethora of life skills ,its about seriously enjoying life….
Likely said –“to be or not to BE” 

The Bold and The Beautiful

“The Bhartiya Nari” has broken all shackles of subjugation and has arrived on the center stage with more temerity than skill or sense. She in her urbane avatar has made shyness, modesty completely vestigial. She flaunts her noodle straps and hot pants with a confident countenance. She dotes on a treasure of cosmetic products and wouldn’t even mind to go under the knife to get that perfect look. She is working, she is independent , she boozes, she fags , she wouldn’t even mind to live in.

Ah what a metamorphosis indeed. To think of it is this what women libation is all about. I am in a great fix as to how to define or to do the caricature of “aaj ki Bhartiya nari ” Take the television for example ,the leading soaps of our TV channels –“agle janam mohe bitya hi kijo” “balika vadhu” showcases the harassed and troubled female populace and the above description of women would be descended into faction . Then on a TV commercial of i pills make this notion very capricious. Then a survey that 80% of the women in India are sexually active before marriage surely seems dubious but again causes a serious aberration of my thought process.

To make it more worse there goes an “ITEM GIRL” (with due apologies to our favorite drama queen ) imitating our Sita Maiya
to choose her pati parmeshvar. She says she’s gone back to the archaic days of doing the arduous job of selecting her var.
She took the bold step of dating more than a dozen men in front of the camera and then on selecting one.
She avowed that she is a Bhartiya nari and applied mehndi for three coveted sajnas and then on settled for one not with a mangal sutra but a ring.

If I further exercise my desire to explore the world of misunderstood women of present era , I am again appalled by a completely different bevy of power puffed ladies. Yes it is quite a debate that do the women in power display the boldness and charisma.
There is our honorable first female president who is a complete epitome of “luck by chance” . Her work is subtle and no body is aware of her charisma. Then the UP Chief Minister who has been the butt of of scams and scandals does no further justice. Then comes the efficacy of our Speaker Meira Kumar , well she completely bowls you over. The softness of her voice is no handicap but her ability to negotiate and make peace unveils the untapped power of women.
Then on one is reminded of The Barkha Dutts, The KIran Bedis, The Arundati Roys, The Indira Nooyis , The Kiran Manjumdars, The Sania Mirzas,the Nirupama raos, for that matter even the Aishwarya Rais who have invariably transformed the cliches and hackneyed phrases associated with women.
So after a heterogeneous account of today’s “Bhartiya Nari” I finally conclude-
The Gen x woman is no iconoclast , avidly attacking morality . She is someone who has become aware of her needs be it emotional, financial, physical or mental and would do anything to fulfill them. She is no inane creature who makes impotent efforts to improve her plight. She is bold enough to dream and achieve . She knows her accounts and is aware of her feminism. She is out there beaming with beauty to take on a world of opportunities regardless of the clothes she wears , or the relationships she is into.
She is no Sati , no Savitri but the bold and the beautiful.

Homecoming....a daughter's view

I have given my way to my mental attic where I had stored all episodes of my growing up. Every episode spent at home, is a parcel of days to be remembered…

Climbing up stairs and slamming the door after coming back from school. Throwing your schoolbag on the study table and then switching on the TV set which emitted noises that would frazzle your nerves. Then the complacent sigh the moment food was served. The bathroom dense with talcum smog. The dancing in front of the mirror where every limb was tested. The strolling in my big veranda and enjoying the bliss of solitude. How a demure little creature would gain all strength in the world to fight with her little sibling . Those long hours where one would chat like a granny with your mom .

Then time plays its game wherein the stubborn child transforms into a thriving teenager and then to an impeccably groomed and dignified young woman (with exaggeration at its best) in a climate of perpetual wonder.

Yes its strange for this very house is now a place to spend my vacations. And look six months down the lane I’ll be through with my engineering degree and god knows how frequent will I visit this little paradise of mine. Its heartening to realize that four to five years more of work experience and higher studies…then the inevitable wedlock and then your inhibitions of a daughter melt you further.

All the pampering, all your pranks and plays vanish like water into the sand. The walls of my bathroom still not deafened by my melodious tunes , the clothes, the books, the paintings, the music playing, the lights on will be cleared away…..

From now on every homecoming will be cherishable experience as life takes on brighter colors.

Bihari or Beharry

NO this isn’t in retaliation to the brewing rivalry of north Indians vs. Marathi’s .Thanks to media enough light has been thrown on it. Its just a medium to voice those pent up feelings which practically every bihari has to go through when out of the boundaries of bihar.
The “Bihari” tag encompasses all crudeness with itself, a cult incapable of showing poise, glamour, having proper diction, devoid of good education. Bihari’s for no reason have been considered the black sheep of the nation .whenever you step out of bihar, the waves of this expanding paradox take real time to die down.

I and many of my friends have had this experience that the moment you reveal that you are a bihari there this complete aura of awe and amazement and with a little grin you are confronted with statements like
“you don’t look like a bihari”
“you don’t speak like a bihari”

These statements would compel you to believe that you were a hybrid variety of bihari or so to speak a bihari turned mod and your eloquence of speech would never make any Tom ,Dick but Beharry.
When questions like
“how have you managed to grow up in a place like bihar where people move around with guns and rifles?”
These fads practically dumbstruck you . And than you think for how long will have to live up with this mistaken identity.I would not undermine the fact that there have indeed been quite a many problems and issues with bihar but the stereotyped image of a bihari should be shrugged off.
Its not the region but your personal attributes which makes you stand out in the crowd…..
“kyoun bujhaieel ki naa”